Summertime

Photo by Sandra Crook

 

“How much more do we have to climb?”

“Just a little bit more…”

There were two voices; a man and a little girl.

It was usually the birds and crickets to keep him company. Soon there would be children racing down the steps while parents watched from their picnic blankets. There were a few bullies who liked aiming stones at him but mostly they didn’t pay him much attention.

He wondered if the little boy he’d made friends with last year would come back. Maybe this time he would be able to convince his parents that squirrels made good pets.

 

 

this story was written based on the photo prompt at the top. For more stories on this prompt here’s where you need to gohttp://madison-woods.com/index-of-stories/092812-2/

 

Advertisements

38 responses to “Summertime

  1. Awww! A really original take on the prompt. Nice one.

  2. Awww! I sure hope the little boy comes back. Very original take like Sandra said.

  3. I like this and after several reads, I wonder who the narrator is. There are several possibilities, giving the story another layer.

  4. Lovely story but a little confused. I understand hearing the voices of the man and little girl and picnic visitors but wondered where the narrator came from, how often he visited and why was he bullied.

  5. Tough sell that squirrel-as-playmate bit–poor little fella will probably have to content himself with the birds and the crickets. Fun story.

  6. Well-disguised twist! I had to read it through twice before I realized whose point of view I was hearing. Good job! Ron

  7. This left many layers to be peeled back. Nicely done!

  8. This is “The Squirrel’s Tale” (pun intended).

  9. Squirrels are so cute…not really the best pets though 🙂

  10. Love the squirrel wondering about being a pet. terrific twist!

  11. i didn’t notice a squirrel, but i’m sure there’s one around somewhere. that was very cute. suggestions for saving words:

    instead of: “How much more do we have to climb?”

    “Just a little bit more…”

    There were two voices; a man and a little girl.

    how about –

    How much more do we have to climb?” said the girl.
    “Just a little bit more,” said the man. (saved four words)

    also –

    instead of: “It was usually the birds and crickets to keep him company. Soon there would be children racing down the steps while parents watched from their picnic blankets. ”

    “birds and crickets usually kept him company. Soon, children would race down the steps….” (saved 6 words)

  12. RogRites (aka BetaRules)

    I laughed when I got to the end. Well done.

  13. Cute take, but I too missed the squirrel tie-in.

  14. I like the squirrel POV. I would assume he’s expecting the park visitors to bring him some treats. Maybe you can fit that in with the 10 more words Rich gave you. This is a happy story. I like that!

  15. This makes me want to know more. Good job.

  16. I thought this was clever, to make us work to figure out that it was the squirrel talking. Well done.

  17. This is a great take on the photo. Thanks for making me think and see things differently. 🙂

  18. I’ll echo some of the confusion other people had (I think I just could have used a sentence or so to set us up before the voices are heard, because I thought they were the protagonists) but after re-reading and seeing your explanation I really do like it – and the title you gave it. The anticipation that comes through, and the sense of rhythm of the seasons (and how he looks forward to them) was great. Nice job!

  19. I found it a little confusing, but I did like the ending. Was he being bullied? Maybe a longer story would have ironed out the kinks. But liked the different take on the photo.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s